dictionary.

sep·a·rate [v. sep-uh-reyt; adj., n. sep-er-it] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -rat·ed, -rat·ing, adjective, noun
–verb (used with object)
1. to keep apart or divide, as by an intervening barrier or space: to separate two fields by a fence.
2. to put, bring, or force apart; part: to separate two fighting boys.
3. to set apart; disconnect; dissociate: to separate church and state.
4. to remove or sever from association, service, etc., esp. legally or formally: He was separated from the army right after V-E Day.
5. to sort, part, divide, or disperse (an assemblage, mass, compound, etc.), as into individual units, components, or elements.
6. to take by parting or dividing; extract (usually fol. by from or out): to separate metal from ore.
7. Mathematics. to write (the variables of a differential equation) in a form in which the differentials of the independent and dependent variables are, respectively, functions of these variables alone: We can separate the variables to solve the equation. Compare separation of variables.
–verb (used without object)
8. to part company; withdraw from personal association (often fol. by from): to separate from a church.
9. (of a married pair) to stop living together but without getting a divorce.
10. to draw or come apart; become divided, disconnected, or detached.
11. to become parted from a mass or compound: Cream separates from milk.
12. to take or go in different directions: We have to separate at the crossroad.

shock.

georgia is my favorite font. 

my parents are getting "separated."

that means that they're not getting divorced but they don't love each other anymore. not the way they used to anyway. it also means that my dad is going to move out of my house sometime relatively soon. i would say that i didn't see this coming, but i guess i did. 

i don't know what i feel. i hardly cried. 

my dad talked to me about it. he sat on my bed with me and cried with me. he told me how scared and depressed and confused he is and that he was worried about dani and rocky and nick and me. he is worried about how we'll cope with it. we'll be fine. i just want him to be happy again. that's all i want. i'm not mad at him. i'm not mad at my mom. 

for some reason, i think that there's more to life than happiness. i feel like there should be anyway. that life can't be fulfilled just by being happy. and if you do end up being happy, it won't last. either fate will screw you over, or you will screw yourself over. there has to be something else. i guess it could be God. i don't know. 

i don't know what's going to happen to my family. i know my siblings and i will be all right. even if we are confused and scared on the inside right now. i just want my parents to be okay. 

i'm so scared. but i'll be okay. i've got lots of people who love me. that's one of the first things i thought to tell my dad. i've got lots of friends and people who love me and they'll help me get through anything that comes my way and that he shouldn't worry about me. so thanks in advance guys. not that any/most of you will read this, but thanks anyway. 

love, jene

autum

so today is the first day of fall. 

fall is my favorite season.

hence, i am excited. 

i love the temperature and the leaves and the feel of fall. it's the best.

so over the weekend i went to new york for my cousin's wedding with my dad. it was super fun. i got to meet all my italian relatives for the first time. it was the best. i have like, 20 cousins i never knew about. 

so on the way home my dad and i stoped at the New York State Museum. there was an exibit on the World Trade Center. there were pieces of wreckage and NYPD car doors and half burnt firetrucks and it was just really intense. 

so life is pretty great right now. i have the most amazing friends ever. you know how people always say that? i hate it because it makes my claim less real. but it is. i really do love my friends more than anything in the world. IN THE WORLD. the world is a big place you know. oh p.s. i got my license. and im a terrible driver. but i drive anyway because it's fun. 

i went to rennfest with bobby and it was fun. i rode on an elephant! see myspace for pictures.

so yeah i have to go now. my mom is taking over the computer. be back soon. loves.

alive

yeah. so in new zealand there was this cool jewelry store thing and i got some white studs that just say "ok." i think they're fun :D

so life it pretty kick ass i guess.
the trip was amazing. i'll post pictures on facebook eventually. view them. i dont really have much to say about it at the moment but i might later. well, i'll say this i guess. i talked to God alot and i enjoyed daily mass. that was good.

relient k's new ep is really good. i can't stop lisening to it :D

well. today bobby found out that his mom and his step-dad are getting a divorce. they won't have enough money to keep their house so they have to move. i don't know what to do. i'm really scared for him. i guess things will be alright in the end. but he was really upset today and i was sad.

so yeah. that's all i feel like saying right about now. i'll write back soon i guess.

oh yeah! im turning 17 on monday. i guess that's something to write about :P

talk to you soon.

i'm finally where i belong

in the post 'xckd part two,' the one 7th from the bottom is how i feel. minus the last panel. i just need to relax. i feel fine. i need to calm down. and you know what? i think it's working. im finally becoming normal again. well "normal" you know... im not.. but you know what i mean.

okay. so i am better. that's that. moving on.

for the remainder of the month i will be in sydney australia and i think aukland new zealand. somewhere in new zealand. i am attending world youth day. i actually typed an extremely good summery of what world youth day is but i think it was in an instant message and i don't think i can recover it. but if you really care that much and don't know what it is just look it up.

alrighty. just letting all you faithful viewers where i'll be the rest of the month so you don't worry yourselves silly. talk to you later.

the canopy

so i was just talking to scottie. she seemed pretty good. i hope that she really is. even though i know she really isn't. i wish that people weren't so scared all the time. so scared to say what they mean. i wish i could just talk about my life with my friends. and i can. but i have secrets now. i hate secrets. secrets suck. if you can ever avoid keeping secrets, especially from your friends and family, then please, avoid them at all costs. it'll save you a lot of grief.

so then i talked to bobby. im getting kinda worried. i think that im scared of commitment...
okay there. i said it. im scared. i so scared. i dont know what to do. i love him. i do. i want to be with him. more than i want most things in this world. but... im scared i'll miss things you know? i want to be loyal to him and love him and just be happy for as long as i can... which could probably be the rest of my life. but i dont know that for sure and i want to experience things and i've just been freaking out over this. i just dont know..

well i think that's all for now i guess. i'll check in again before i leave.

xkcd part two

P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain.





'You will have hot, steamy, sweaty sex... IN BED!'





There was something about a cup and a sword and a tree and a green hill...





Ma'am, I admit that wasn't in the best taste, but you have to admire my delivery! Ha ha, get it? Oh God, don't throw those syringes! Your baby's fine!





Electric skateboards, by cost, get the equivalent of about 300 miles per gallon. Lithium batteries just need to get cheaper.





It's easier to be an asshole to words than to people.





I bet my future kids will read this someday. DEAR FUTURE KIDS: how did you get internet in the cellar?





I once made an anniversary card for my then-girlfriend with this layout.





This is actually pencil on paper, just inverted and colored





I do this constantly





No more, no less





I find so much fun in language.





:(





This one goes out to xxCrazyPixie1987xx





i love you





And then it turns out they're both Tyler Durden.





In Connor's second thesis it is stated 'There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.' Does the routine destroy our creativity or do we lose creativity and fall into the routine? Anyway, who's up for a road trip!





It slowly dawns on us that our parents knew exactly what they were doing.





It's like the traveling salesman problem, but the endpoints are different and you can't ask your friends for help because they're sitting three seats down.

xkcd part 1

I'm as surprised as you! I didn't think it was possible.









And now I might never get to again.







I wish I knew how to quit this so I wouldn't have to quit you.






This sequence was later reproduced in the International Tape-Extending Federation archives, retitled 'The Founding of the Sport'.







You can evade blue shells in Double Dash, but it is deep magic.








By my count, only 48 of the 158 minutes in Live Free or Die Hard have action. That's pathetic, guys. Crank is better, but needs a bigger budget and more Summer Glau.







It's pi plus C, of course.






Well, *I* think I'm real. Look at me. Look at my face. Cut me and I'll bleed. What more do you want? Please don't go.






I didn't even know I *had* the Monty Python 'Lumberjack' song.






Check it out; I've had sex with someone who's had sex with someone who's written a paper with Paul Erdős!

a sad time

so im thinking i really like this font. im also thinking that i dont really care about capitalization and some punctuation. im also thinking that my life does not really matter. i mean think about it. what am i really going to do to affect the world? please. i mean fat, ugly, lazy, untalented girls dont really have a reputation for amazing achievement. but whatever. that's not what i was really thinking about today.

wow i just read xckd for like a half an hour.

anyway. today bobby and patrick walked me home from work and bobby starts going on and on about the 'niggers' i work with and how worthless they are and that he doesn't want me to walk home in the dark alone because of the black people in my neighborhood (who are all very nice and friendly). patrick speaks up and says how one of the black kids in our neighborhood named Aamir was very nice and spoke quite intelligently. bobby then went on to complain about his name. i just dont understand his arrogance. i mean, i know the way he was raised has a lot to do with it but that excuse only works to an extent. it comes to a point where you decide what you believe and what you think and what you feel. i cant believe that he judges people like that. by the color of their skin or by their heritage. Aamir is clearly an african-esque name right? i mean granted, my one black friend at work is on house arrest, but that doesnt mean that he isnt nice to me right? i mean... i know he's not the best person around but.. that doesnt just deem him a fucking nigger right? i just dont understand how much of an asshole he is. all he cares about is his family, closest friends, me, and himself. he could care less if every other person just fell off the face of the earth. he always says how i think everybody is my friend and that i should stop being so accepting of people. oh yeah thats right! then bobby starts to complain about how my dad talked to him about messing around with me at cornerstone today and how awkward it was and how stupid and fucking annoying my dad was for talking to him about that. how dare he! GOD. i dont know. i just really needed to rant to somebody/somespace. so thanks for being there.

on another note, im leaving for cornerstone on monday. thank god. i really need cornerstone right now. i need jess and rocky. i know ill be glad to have bobby there too but.. i dont know. i love him so much. i really need to straighten out my confusion about religion/morals. its really been eating away at me.

and now i think i just stumbled across dan's daughter's myspace and im liking her project playlist and its making me happy. damnit. just as i was on a raging rant. now i cant even pretend that bobby made me sad when he calls. DAMNIT. oh well i guess. ill just have to rant later. about something else. okay. thats it for now i guess.