shock.

georgia is my favorite font. 

my parents are getting "separated."

that means that they're not getting divorced but they don't love each other anymore. not the way they used to anyway. it also means that my dad is going to move out of my house sometime relatively soon. i would say that i didn't see this coming, but i guess i did. 

i don't know what i feel. i hardly cried. 

my dad talked to me about it. he sat on my bed with me and cried with me. he told me how scared and depressed and confused he is and that he was worried about dani and rocky and nick and me. he is worried about how we'll cope with it. we'll be fine. i just want him to be happy again. that's all i want. i'm not mad at him. i'm not mad at my mom. 

for some reason, i think that there's more to life than happiness. i feel like there should be anyway. that life can't be fulfilled just by being happy. and if you do end up being happy, it won't last. either fate will screw you over, or you will screw yourself over. there has to be something else. i guess it could be God. i don't know. 

i don't know what's going to happen to my family. i know my siblings and i will be all right. even if we are confused and scared on the inside right now. i just want my parents to be okay. 

i'm so scared. but i'll be okay. i've got lots of people who love me. that's one of the first things i thought to tell my dad. i've got lots of friends and people who love me and they'll help me get through anything that comes my way and that he shouldn't worry about me. so thanks in advance guys. not that any/most of you will read this, but thanks anyway. 

love, jene